Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
Unicorn naps seem magic;
coo of foals snore.
each hair reflects sunshine,
each head dozing grace.

Even now, wild delphiniums
sway; yearlings sleep peaceful.

Lady youth has seldom met
temptation, now woes struggle,
each horse enchants,
she exalts.
from =futilitarian's forum challenge [link]

This was ridiculously hard!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconakarra:
akarra Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2012  Student Writer
It has a wonderful sound and movement. You use parallel structures well! Thanks for sharing.
Reply
:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012   Writer
Thank you :D
Reply
:iconmagpie-poet:
magpie-poet Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012
Beautiful imagery. Brutal challenge!
Reply
:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012   Writer
Brutal yes, have you tried it yourself? If you do, don't start with unicorns :p
Reply
:iconmagpie-poet:
magpie-poet Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012
No, but I've tried on and off for years to do a dna poem where the lines have to start and end with the matching dna tags so either CG/GC or AT/TA and form a helix.
Reply
:iconchadwood:
chadwood Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012   Writer
You've done a fine job at meeting that challenge! Great feel to this one.
Reply
:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012   Writer
It was an evil challenge!
Reply
:iconchadwood:
chadwood Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012   Writer
I know. It was brutal.
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
After reading the forum challenge, I can definitely appreciate what you've done here. I myself am tempted to try my hand at it and accept the challenge. :plotting:

In the end this simple bit of poetry possesses so much imagery for me. I see a gorgeous portrait throughout changing with nature and magic. You have a lovely way with words - I especially adore the use of "yearlings" and "delphiniums". :faint:

The last stanza is simply enchanting.

"Lady youth has seldom met
temptation, now woes struggle,
each horse enchants,
she exalts."

"she exalts" in itself leaves me pondering. I love poetry with the power to inspire. This is fantastic poetry. Wonderful work. :clap:

:heart: *OfOneSoul
Reply
:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012   Writer
Thank you very much :D

(yes I know you commented months ago, I am finally getting around to appreciating :heart:)
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Lol, I understand. Being a CV must make you very buys :giggle: And you're very welcome sweetie :blowkiss:
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That explains the strange word choices :o

WHY ARE THERE UNICORNS EVERYWHERE
Reply
:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
I started this at work and a unicorn guards my desk, therefore creating the first word! Its a really hard task, have you had a go?
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Aah. You make it sound so logical....

Yes, and then I shamelessly gave up.
Reply
:iconitti:
Itti Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, that does seem hard. But I didn't notice what you were doing til I read the forum post so you must have done well! :)
Reply
:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
It was so ridiculously hard, at one point I was sat with a dictionary looking for words that began with a letter that worked in the piece! You discover just how many words end with "S, D, Y and E"!
Reply
:iconunspecifiedunknown:
UnspecifiedUnknown Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012   Writer
this is a gorgeous piece, i love the imagery
"Lady youth has seldom met
temptation, now woes struggle,
each horse enchants,
she exalts."


beautiful :heart:
resonates wonderfully through and through.

thank you for sharing :heart:
Reply
:iconbeccajs:
BeccaJS Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012   Writer
Thank you for faving! :heart:
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconbeccajs: More from BeccaJS


Featured in Collections


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
February 24, 2012
Submitted with
Sta.sh Writer
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,788
Favourites
10 (who?)
Comments
18
×