Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Do lilies cry when they wilt?
Do they beg on weak stalks
to a deity they have not worshipped 
since raindrops first fell

and touched each petal; an angels
kiss. Do they beg 
in hope 

their lives are spared or
that a resurrection can be blessed
with fresh water? 

Does the sun emerge brighter in death;
a ray of glitter,
a seat in paradise

their sweet pollen inhaled
once more.

Update 14/08- Having a bit of a redraft splurge on old pieces! This feels a bit- floaty, like more concrete images are needed, but I thought I would put it back out for some feedback :)

Lilies are considered a symbol of death. Rusty start to napo but I should be able to go back and play with the ones which worked!

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

lion-essrampant Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love this, but there seemed to be a bit more of a separation than I would have liked between the first and second stanzas. Regardless, this is amazingly wonderful.
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013   Writer
Good poetry is often a bit of a mystery to me. But this piece isn't. I "got it" and enjoyed it.
It seems sad but nearly happy at the same time, or rather, it progresses through those phases, just like people do when there's a death in their families. Thank you. :+fav:
I have one question:
Is the second (apparent) question a rhetorical one, like the last one (apparently) is?
Because if not, you might want a question marks after those, too.
That's my opinion--the habits of an editor die hard, though I'm far from an expert on poetry. I read a lot of it, but some I don't understand at all. I like to hear it aloud, and often read poems here aloud to "catch them," and my voice put question marks here--the only reason I mention that. What do you think?
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, I love this. The flow is smooth and consistent, and although the ending shines as the strongest part of the poem, the beginning is also lovely.
Add a Comment:

:iconbeccajs: More from BeccaJS

Featured in Collections

Poetry - Uncategorised by camelopardalisinblue

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
April 3, 2013
Submitted with Writer


7 (who?)